January 1, 2012
Dear Men,
I know I am probably going to get slammed for this one but honestly I have to say something. I have decided to bring in my new year with confrontation with truth.
As my daughter tells me that she has a crush on a boy, I cringe at what may lie ahead of her. Before I get into this I want to simply explain where this is coming from. I am not fed up to the point where I want to curse you, I am not bitter to where I have decided to quit, I am just simply hoping that a few words may resonate with you and give you a strict point of view from a mere woman that has felt the pain of someone who decided not to be a man!
There is endless propaganda where even women are bashing other women assigning blame to us for allowing men to do what they do to us; we are constantly being accosted for being enablers and voluntary victims. You ladies need to be quiet! One of our biggest problems as women is that we don’t stand in solidarity; we constantly believe that if we jump on the man side that in some way is going to score us points. You still lose because denial of the problem continues to fuel it.
I keep hearing that “whole” men are scarce. Are they? When I say whole, I mean fully independent, functioning and balanced individuals that are givers and not takers. Yes, I said “givers” and I am not speaking about anything material or superficial. You guys are made to be givers and us the receivers; this is the design from our physical reality to the spiritual realm.
There are several things that are happening in the world of the man/woman exchange and I wish that this modest attempt to explain would give you a small peek into the soul of a woman. I dare to say this out loud and loan my vulnerability to the world in hopes that maybe one woman will be spared from the selfishness of a charismatic culprit.
I have gathered the information from endless conversations, exchanges and confessions from women from all walks of life that all have one thing in common: PAIN! And I think that you need to learn to understand pain on a man level because what you perceive as “crazy” is a manifestation of the recklessness and negligence of some man, it could be daddy, a bad boyfriend or an inappropriate uncle, you get the picture.
Do you know the effects of abuse? Do you even know what abuse is? I tire at hearing men pride themselves that they don’t physically abuse women or raise their voices. Applause break, you noble creature you; you’re not supposed to do that. You are also not supposed to lie, cheat, mislead, mistreat, deceive nor are you allowed to be negligent, malicious and down right reckless with a woman.
Think about the women in your life that you adore like your daughters, sisters and mothers when you are going to do what you do. Some of you actually enjoy it: bragging about deceiving women and mistreating them. You have adopted the word bitch into your lexicon; do you refer to your mother as a bitch? No because she is your mother and to you she is sacred but to another man she is just a woman, his bitch! You don’t like that do you? If you do, then maybe there is where you need to begin to explore your problem. And it IS a problem, if you have unresolved “Mommy issues” because now you are taking this out on whoever comes your way.
Here are a few types that I keep hearing about and this is what I have to say to them.
Cheaters- Do you understand that when you are having sex with multiple women you are depositing and redistributing D.N.A. You are re-circulating all of your issues and those of all that you have been with, in addition to, the obvious bacteria which leads to that crazy that you later complain about.
The Half Ass Man- If you are in a woman’s life then be a participant in it, adding to her life. Stop taking away, you are damaging someone’s child and sometimes mother. Stop being an “I’ll help you out” man and become an “I’ll take care of it” man, man.
The Private Person- There is a big difference between a private person and a shady dude. Not wanting to share details of your personal life is one thing but keeping someone a secret under that banner is totally different. Who do you think you are? And who do you think she’s not? If she is so beneath you, why are you dealing with her in the first place? What does that say about how you feel about yourself?
It’s Complicated – It’s only complicated because you need it to be to serve your purpose. If you are married then it’s not complicated, you are not available, stop lying.
If you are with someone that has been there for you and you don’t know how to release her, you are wrong. That doesn’t make you noble, that makes you selfish. Let her go so that she can find someone that is available and fully capable of committing.
You can date multiple people, stop being a coward and fully disclose allow her to make the choice to be with you.
In and Out – You built a not so fun rollercoaster and demand on not riding it alone. How dare you? If you don’t know what you want then go figure it out, don’t expect someone to give good years of her life to your unstable cause.
No Good Dirty Low Down- Hey listen, if you like boys too there is a room for you. There are plenty of women that will date a “bisexual” man, this should be her decision not yours. It’s devastating to know that in addition to being concerned with other women, that men are also a factor. You are being negligent with someone’s life, and you should be ashamed of yourself, not for your sexual orientation but for your lack of respect for human life.
Mr., I’ll Slap a Bitch – I am not an advocate of violence but for every man that enjoys physically abusing women I would love for you to experience a massive beat down from a force that you can’t conquer. How could you put your hand on someone’s daughter and recklessly handle her like she is less than? You need help and if you were a REAL man then you would seek it.
I’ll Do What ever it Takes – How old are you? Are you still telling women whatever it takes to get some action? It is my belief that when you are truly solid wherever you may be standing you don’t have to lie, exaggerate nor embellish to gain a woman’s interest.
Mr. Gigga Ho- Has it become a trend that men are taking on the feminine role of being provided for. Get your lazy ass up and go to work; you will never have to experience a contraction or labor pain in your life. Yes your woman can help you when you are down but your role is to lead, so lead with employment. It isn’t cute that you that prey on a woman with low self-esteem to take care of you. Even if your friends laugh it off with you, those that are good people think that you are garbage.
I Have a Dream – I hear countless men express how much they want a solid, driven and accomplished woman but sometimes it feels that they want this so long as it doesn’t trump what they are doing. You have big dreams Sir, well so do I! I have heard so many stories from women about how their men feel threatened by their accomplishments and really just want to drive them under. Truth is if you are not confident enough to be with a woman that has arrived then perhaps you should stay where you are.
Ride or Die – I love to hear men express how they long for a woman that lives by that good ole Soprano type loyalty but aren’t even capable of delivering it. I’ll keep this one simple, stop asking for what you can’t provide. You gotta BE what you WANT!
I know, I know it sounds pretty bad but have you checked out the statistics lately? Are you aware of the damage that you are doing? If every woman acted on her most selfish, primal desire you men would be destroyed. You wouldn’t be able to handle it, guaranteed.
I am not in any way removing accountability from women, but what some of you men are doing is wrong. If you cross the street in the middle of the intersection and someone decides to hit you because what you are doing is wrong, shouldn’t they answer for that? My point is that those that take advantage of others’ poor decisions should still be accountable, period. There has been centuries of damage done to women and to this day we are still the most oppressed group on the planet. Most men are only affected by this reality when it is directly a problem to the women that they care about.
Think, do you want to exercise the above hatred on your beautiful little daughter, of course not, then don’t do it to someone else’s. Just STOP! I am in no way disputing that women should make better choices, ALL I am saying is that while we are working on that, some of you men should work on being a better choice!
Feel free to leave a comment here. I am available for short chats, join me on Twitter.
